(love song for an aging population)
 
All of my lovers are barren
it’s just a symptom of their age
All of my lovers stopped wearin’
lingerie back at some distant stage
 
Granny panties now tossed in a bundle
are evidence of our amorous ways
Upon discarding our trusses and trundle
we get it on in a Blue-Emu blaze
 
A memory of once rigid manhood
I offer up to these ladies so fair
In return I get sagging salaciousness
Blue Cross and Blue Shield and Blue Hair
 
My sciatica and her rheumatism
make for a pleasure that feels more like pain
Her arthritis and my oversized prostate
have made our love making efforts in vain
 
Our ravaged entwined ancient bodies
create a fifty-first drab shade of grey
I remember a time
when we were both looking fine
but like most memories it’s now fading away
 
A ghost of my once rigid manhood
I offer up to these ladies so fair
In return I get sagging salaciousness
Blue Pills and Blue Shield and Blue Hair
 
Darling, pass me your estrogen jelly
and let me rub it all over your leg
What do you mean, you’d rather do it yourself?
Now pretty baby please don’t make me beg
 
Lover can we switch positions
I fear my arms have both fallen asleep
One of these days our hearts are gonna give out
and they’ll find us in a twisted old heap
 
A memory of once rigid manhood
I offer up to these ladies so fair
In return I get sagging salaciousness
Blue Cross and Blue Shield and Blue Hair
 
Sugar, do you hear a siren
sounding like it’s coming right up the drive?
In our passion I pressed your Med Alert bracelet
Slip on your robe, go tell those boys you’re alive
 
I once knew a wild hot momma
we used to make it up and down her stair lift
She now resides in a memory care
but on her birthday I still bring her a gift
 
The ghost of my once rigid manhood
I offer up to these ladies so fair
In return I get sagging salaciousness
Blue Cross and Blue Shield and Blue Hair